Rage

ONE of the things I struggle most with the whole long distance situation with Ayuko is how I am not able to be there when she needs me. This applies both in an emotional and physical sense, but in this instance I am talking more about how she is vulnerable alone whereas she wouldn't be if I were there with her. As Ayuko is a very pretty girl she draws a lot of unwelcome attention from fuckheads who have been brought up in a Japanese society that is completely male dominated and where women are portrayed as a much weaker sex that are defenseless against their advances. This means that a lot of sleazy Japanese men will approach women in a very aggressive manner, often grabbing their arm or other body part and following them for blocks, as they ask them to go on a date or for their phone number or whatever. There is even a certain type of job which is known as a 'catcher' and their job is to try to recruit girls to work as hostesses, prostitutes, porn stars, etc. They act as I described above and will continually badger the girl despite their negative responses. So when I get a phone call from a frightened Ayuko who is being harrassed or followed by one of these pieces of shit I feel not only enraged, but also completely helpless as I am unable to do anything. The simple act of having her call me is often enough to have them leave her alone, but I am constantly worrying about her at night and especially when she goes out on the weekends.

DESPITE the safety that is so widely accepted in Japan, Tokyo is still one of the world's largest cities and it obviously has its share of degenerates. If anything where to ever happen to Ayuko I honestly don't know what I would do. I already have a lot of built up anger towards these type of men, which you see everytime you go out, and while they obviously never approach her when I am with her the rage is still there. I have occaisionally thought that if one were to ever do something to her when I was near all of my anger and frustration would be taken out on him and frankly it is a satisfying thought. My other foreign friends with Japanese girlfriends feel the same way I do and we have often talked of how satisfying it would be to have these arrogant little shits feel how it feels to be afraid. I am sure some of you are shocked at my anger or violent thoughts or whatever, but after having to put up with this for the year and a half I have been dating Ayuko it only angers me more every time. I am not a violent person, but the only thing that would hold me back from smashing down one of these pathetic excuses for men is the possible fallout with the police and compromising Ayuko in any way. Let them pray the day doesn't come when they meet me in a situation where I don't have to worry about that.