I recently have been struggling with the tedium and lack of motivation associated with my job as I am essentially performing cookie cutter lessons over and over with no real change involved. This is due partly to teaching such young students who obviously are learning very basic English; as well as having all of my lessons planned out in advance by the Kyoto Board of Education. This means that preparation time is basically nil and I can saunter into lessons only after glancing at the lesson plan five minutes before. I could go above and beyond and really throw myself into preparing my lessons as it is really up to me as far as how much effort I put into them, but I honestly can't be bothered. I don't particularly like teaching nor do I want to do this as a career, so I have no driving force to make me try harder than the bare minimum. Added on to this is the fact that I am only paid for 29 hours of work a week despite having to be at the schools for 40 hours. So all in all I try to do the least work humanly possible in order to fool myself into thinking I am not being completely taken for a ride by my company.

HOWEVER recently I have begun to throw myself into other side projects such as studying Japanese, drawing, meeting new people, attempting to read manga, etc. As my mother and psychologists worldwide have suggested the best cure for depression or lack of motivation in your life is to simply force yourself to take on new tasks. I wouldn't say I am depressed as that isn't entirely true, but simply more dissatisfied with my current life and the lack of direction it is taking. So now I am determined, through study and mastery of Japanese, to be able to obtain a more fulfilling job when I move to Tokyo in the spring or at the very least have that opportunity become available within the next year or so. As Ayuko and I plan to only stay in Japan for another two years or so I would ideally like to be working for a Japanese company by next winter either as their private English teacher or in some interpreter role. All of that depends on my Japanese ability which is why I am motivated now.

SO all in all life is looking up.

A new day begins today