I recently have been struggling with the tedium and lack of motivation associated with my job as I am essentially performing cookie cutter lessons over and over with no real change involved. This is due partly to teaching such young students who obviously are learning very basic English; as well as having all of my lessons planned out in advance by the Kyoto Board of Education. This means that preparation time is basically nil and I can saunter into lessons only after glancing at the lesson plan five minutes before. I could go above and beyond and really throw myself into preparing my lessons as it is really up to me as far as how much effort I put into them, but I honestly can't be bothered. I don't particularly like teaching nor do I want to do this as a career, so I have no driving force to make me try harder than the bare minimum. Added on to this is the fact that I am only paid for 29 hours of work a week despite having to be at the schools for 40 hours. So all in all I try to do the least work humanly possible in order to fool myself into thinking I am not being completely taken for a ride by my company.
HOWEVER recently I have begun to throw myself into other side projects such as studying Japanese, drawing, meeting new people, attempting to read manga, etc. As my mother and psychologists worldwide have suggested the best cure for depression or lack of motivation in your life is to simply force yourself to take on new tasks. I wouldn't say I am depressed as that isn't entirely true, but simply more dissatisfied with my current life and the lack of direction it is taking. So now I am determined, through study and mastery of Japanese, to be able to obtain a more fulfilling job when I move to Tokyo in the spring or at the very least have that opportunity become available within the next year or so. As Ayuko and I plan to only stay in Japan for another two years or so I would ideally like to be working for a Japanese company by next winter either as their private English teacher or in some interpreter role. All of that depends on my Japanese ability which is why I am motivated now.
SO all in all life is looking up.
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2 comments:
Chris-
Thanks for the email bday wish. Also I'm glad you are doing things you like in your life. I think it's important to be happy with yourself and what you are doing. That'd be really cool if you became fluent in Japanese and were some fancy interpreter. I always kinda thought that'd be a fun job to have. Get to travel or at least meet a lot of new and interesting people. stay strong and maybe we can skype soon!
glo
What is manga and why do you want to read it? I would hope that you are putting a little effort into your teaching Chris. I think that things always go better if you put a little bit of yourself into them. I know you are not a slacker and I would be disappointed if your students are not getting some of the Lopez humor and talent as you teach. Remember last year when I talked about God closing a door, but then opening a window? Maybe the teaching is the window he has opened for you and you need to look for what He is offering. I know that the way you have been treated and it appears, still are treated, by the Japanese companies has colored your outlook. But remember how I have always told you kids not to let someone else's behavior change your actions- be true to yourself.
My, I sound preachy this morning! Not intended, but possible a side effect of going to a funeral yesterday and hearing a Maya Angelo quote: "People may not remember what you do, people may not remember what you say, but people will always remember how you made them feel." The other quote I heard was "Live. Love. Laugh". I think both are food for thought.
Have sent over a project for you to work on as my part of helping you find new things to do. Mostly, Chris, remember how proud I am of you, how much I love you and that life is lost if you can't laugh.
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